Did you know that according to Pew Research’s findings on American fathers, 57 percent of men see being a dad as a central part of their identity and, overall, fathers are much more involved in childcare than they were 50 years ago? Not only that but seven out of every 10 adults believe that it is just as important for fathers to bond with their babies as mothers?
Let’s face it. A man who is willing to wake up in the middle of the night (without anyone having to remind him) to feed his little one or volunteers to change a diaper without copping an attitude is so endearing to see. Not only that but, there’s just something about a guy who steps into his role as a father that, for the mother of that child, can be downright sexy!
That’s why it didn’t surprise us when we read an article breaking down the fact that there’s a study revealing that couples who evenly share in childcare duties have the best sex lives while the relationship where the mother does most of the work has the worst.
According to the Huffington Post piece:
“This research does not tell us why couples that share childcare duties have better sex lives, but as a psychologist who works extensively with couples and parents, my clinical experience suggests that a primary reason is this: Good sex in a committed relationship is facilitated by emotional intimacy. Emotional intimacy can’t happen when one partner feels that his or her needs are taking a back seat more often than not.
For example, if Dad typically comes home from work and plops down on the couch while Mom makes dinner and corrals the kids—after her own day of full-time work at the office or at home with the kids—this pattern over time is likely to create resentment and emotional distance.
Emotional distance is a sex-killer in a relationship.”
That certainly makes sense. We’re thinking that there is more to it than even that, though. When a newborn (or even a toddler) is in the home, that can affect the amount of sleep one gets. The less sleep you get, the less energy you have. Also, if there are two people in the home but only one is truly contributing to the baby’s needs, that can cause resentment to set in. Who wants to have sex when they’re exhausted and, quite frankly, pissed?
The cool thing about articles like these is if you are pregnant and worried that after the birth of your baby you can basically kiss your sex life goodbye (at least for a little while), it appears that so long as your man is helping out, you might end up having better sex than ever! At the same time, if you already have a baby, your man gets the side-eye on a regular basis for his lack of parental participation and he’s complaining about how sex has dwindled, you can show him this to—let’s be real about how we feel about these kinds of fellas—shut him up.
If he wants to get some in the bedroom, he should get busy in the nursery. ‘Nuf said.